Well, we all know it was Christmas 2 days ago, whoop whoop right? Wrong.
 
Christmas  is meant to be a time for giving, feeling good in yourself for making someone else happy, I'm calling fucking BULLSHIT to the max! Would you rather spend £300 on getting someone a PS3 or someone spending £300 on YOU and YOU getting a nice shiny PS3... As I thought, you would rather receive the gift than hand it out, especially if who you were handing it to was African. 
 
Christmas dinner is meant to be Turkey, Beef, Taters etc etc right? WRONG! This is indeed again total fucking shit talk, would you rather full yourself full of healthy vegetables and nutritious meats or would you rather go to your local take away and order yourself the largest kebab and large chips and smother it in chili sauce? As I suspected, once again you choose the second option.

 
What I'm trying to get at here is that Christmas is really just an over-hyped, commercialized piece of trash holiday where we celebrate the death of some twat who was so poor he was born in a stable, if were going by that principle, shouldn't we celebrate the day Hitler died? Surely thats a more reasonable celebration, and it's real!

 
So, my advice to everyone? Seriously, fuck the people next to you, that's it, forget them, they don't exist and even if they did they don't deserve jack shit, go out THIS second and return all the presents you got to the shops, and if you didn't get receipts eBay them then with the proceedings go into the sales and buy shit you like! When they ask where the present that cost £450 is, tell them the truth! Say you sold it to some guy in Uzbekistan for a fraction of the price and gave FREE post & packaging.
 
So, there you have it, if you agreed with everything I just wrote... your fucking going straight into damnation, a place of torture, helplessness and despair all the way, where you get killed and brought back to life endlessly and burnt over and over. But don't let that put you off, devil women with whips are FUCKING HOT.